Guide to family discussions

October 18, 2024

In this increasingly divided world, the importance of connecting with family regularly has never been more important. Also, unfortunately it has never been more difficult. Tips:

Create a list of words that nobody can use (or if they do they have to pay some kind of token fine - you can have fun with this. You can ask someone in the family to create a physical swear jar and the family member that uses a trigger word has to pay a fine. If you have a family of beer drinkers you can make the fine to drink a beer or somthing. You could even make it so that a person has to answer a truth or dare question. Have fun with it and design a disincentive system for people using words that will divide your family more.

I suggest this as a list of trigger words to start with: Trump, Kamala, Democrat, Republican, and USA election.

If a person can't have a conversation with their family without mentioning politics or at least recognizing that it can be divisive for the family.

There have been some wonderful advances in communication technology that make this easy and free. You can create a free Zoom account. That way people can join on their phones or their computers. They can join while they are cooking a meal, or doing any normal household chore that we all do.

It doesn't have to take up more time in your already busy life.

You might find that working with your family and starting to be real about what is going on with your life, what your challenges are, what your hopes and dreams are.... that members of your family might have solutions for you.. or at least they will likely offer moral support.

This is what I learned yesterday. I had my first virtual family dinner last night. It was a bit messy because we hadn't talked in a few months and we had got out of sync with each other.. But we are back on the right track now. We are going to meet weekly for awhile, until we find our rhythm again.. I don't know if this will help you.. but this has been a turning point in my family, so I thought I would share in case it might help one person. If you have any comments or questions, please respond to this point and I will do my best to share my experience of this. I had to go through a lot to get to this point so I might have some wisdom to share.. and if I don't.. you know I will always do my best to make you laugh (if I have met you in real life.. I won't be putting in much energy to random strangers on the internet but you never know. Let's unite. There are many forces in the world dividing us. Let's not allow that to happen. Nobody wants to go to a funeral of a family member they hadn't made peace with before they died. Why wait until someone dies? Let me know how it goes.. Love to all in this challenging time..

Karen